CyKret

Electronica
Bray, County Wicklow
219

cy·clic
adj.
1.
a. Of, relating to, or characterized by cycles: a cyclic pattern of weather changes.
b. Recurring or moving in cycles: cyclical history.
rhet·o·ric
n.
1:a. The art or study of using language effectively and persuasively.
b. A treatise or book discussing this art.
2: Skill in using language effectively and persuasively.

CyKret, the one man band you've been waiting for.
There once was a boy. In primary school, his junior infants teacher foolishly cast him as Joseph in the school nativity play.
The Irish Times Literary Review called his characterization "Sloppy" and his performance as a whole "underwhelming and uncooridinated".
These comments did little to quell his passion for being on stage, while lots of people looked at him. He also loved the groupies.
Years later, he was captured by pirates, and taught to dance and play the lute. Through years of practice, he was eventually freed, with the blessing of Black Beard, the one Eyed Peg-legged Sea Dog. Black Beard went on to campaign for an end to steryotypical nicknames in the workplace.
The young boy tried to build a life for himself, playing the lute with a great sense of earnest and pride, with the barest hint of irony, seeing as the lute, symbol of his captivity, was now the means of his free life. I digress.
A kindly electronics manufacturer, of the Silicon Valley took pity on the boy and took him on as an apprentice and all 'round Pinocchio to his Gepetto. It was here that the boy began to synthesize sounds, that the lute had restrained him from. With both sample and subtractive synthesis under his belt, global conquest was his next port of call. But before he could do that, he needed a profile on breakingunes.com. And for that profile he needed a biography. A biography he would embellish with wild and tales and barefaced lies to make him seem more interesting. He also used the third person throughout the whole thing, so that the last line of this biography would ring with class and purpose, in a Batman's-about-to-kill-the-joker-for-the-murder-of-his-perents kind of way.

I am that boy...

Bookmark and Share